Signed, a concerned citizen not at all affiliated with United Media's legal team, nuh uh

From the syndicate's Peanuts FAQ. Y'know, as in frequently asked questions:

Q. As a Peanuts fan, I often come across content on the internet that uses the Peanuts copyrights and trademarks in an unfavorable fashion, and I don't think it is authorized by United Media. What actions does United Media take to protect the work of Charles Schulz and the Peanuts property?

Might have been slightly more believable if they'd shown a picture of the question on a postcard in crayon from Heather, age 6.

Below: a Snoopy mock-sushi bento box