Trex and the City

Around three hundred years ago the Trexlers came to New York from Germany, but after getting a raw deal from the Brits we were lured to arable land in the area now known--in a vast historical injustice--as Mertztown, Pennsylvania. We immediately got to work establishing the foundational institutions of Western civilization--farms, roads, a burgeoning village and, of course, a shoe store! Check out my hometown's hottest designer label below:

Karl Lagerfeld was standing on the corner outside my apartment just a few minutes ago; no doubt he was looking to strike a deal.